It seems we are always living in “trying times.”
If you look back through history—or even just your own journals—you will rarely find a period labeled “The Easy Times.” There is always a crisis, a deadline, a conflict, or a vague sense of uncertainty hanging in the air. If we wait for the world to settle down before we practice mindfulness, we will be waiting forever.
The chaos isn’t going away. But the good news is, you don’t need a silent mountain top to be mindful. You just need to master one simple skill: The Return.
The Myth of Perfect Presence
We often think of mindfulness as a trance-like state where we float above our problems, perfectly zen and unaffected. Because of this, when we get stressed, angry, or distracted, we feel like we’ve “failed” at being mindful.
But distraction isn’t a failure; it’s part of the process.
The secret to staying mindful isn’t preventing your mind from wandering—it’s noticing when it has. The exact moment you realize, “I am not being mindful right now,” is a moment of perfect mindfulness.
You have just “woken up.” In that split second of realization, you have stepped out of the autopilot stream of worry and back into the driver’s seat. The practice is simply to acknowledge that you drifted, and gently, without judgment, bring yourself back to the here and now.
Why Bother? The Internal Shift
Why is this constant “returning” worth the effort?
1. It Increases Life Satisfaction When we are lost in worry about the future or regret about the past, we are missing the only thing we actually own: the present. We essentially sleepwalk through our coffee, our commutes, and our conversations. Mindfulness turns up the resolution on your life. Food tastes better, colors look sharper, and moments of joy feel deeper. It slows down the perceived rush of time, making you feel like you are actually living your life, not just getting through it.
2. It Breaks the Stress Loop Stress is often a physical reaction to a mental story. Your body tightens up because your brain is telling you a story about a “trying time.” When you return to the present moment—to the sensation of your feet on the floor or the air in your lungs—you signal to your nervous system that right here, right now, you are okay.
The Ripple Effect: Impacting Others
Perhaps the most powerful reason to practice mindfulness is not for yourself, but for the people around you.
Anxiety is contagious. When you are reactive, frantic, and distracted, you subconsciously signal to everyone around you—your family, your colleagues, your friends—that there is a threat. You raise the temperature in the room.
But calm is contagious, too.
When you practice the “return” in the middle of a difficult conversation or a stressful meeting, you become a chaotic system’s grounding wire. You listen better. You respond rather than react. By regulating your own state, you give others permission to regulate theirs.
Start Where You Are
Don’t wait for the “trying times” to end. Use the difficulty as your bell. Let the stress be the reminder that wakes you up.
Every time you feel the tension rise, take a breath. Acknowledge that you were lost. And simply begin again.
